


You Gave Me My Soul

by Sylphrenart



Series: You Gave Me My... [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Birthday, Canon Universe, Christmas, Comfort, Crying Erwin Smith, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Levi Being an Asshole (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi Hates the Cold (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi's Birthday (Shingeki no Kyojin), Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Year 845, post-ACWNR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28356108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylphrenart/pseuds/Sylphrenart
Summary: Could he really sacrifice Levi if the circumstances were dire enough? What if losing Levi meant the salvation of mankind? Would he be able to live with himself after a decision like that?
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Series: You Gave Me My... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061759
Comments: 8
Kudos: 128





	You Gave Me My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Two days late for Levi’s birthday, but it’s the thought that counts, right? This is a sequel to “You Gave Me My Wings.” This could technically be read as a stand-alone, but it will make much more sense if you read the first part ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Merry Christmas, everyone! Have a wonderful holiday! ♡

Erwin stops just outside the mess hall late one winter evening. He stands tall and imposing, hands clasped behind his back as he surveys the scene. Cadets are laughing and joking amongst themselves. Veterans are downing glasses of wine. The atmosphere is warm and inviting, Christmastime bringing an infectious joyful spirit. There are three large pine trees on display at the far end of the hall, each decorated with hand-made ornaments. Stray pieces of wrapping paper lie in the walkway running between tables, evidence of gifts given.

Erwin’s surprised that Levi hasn’t gotten after the cadets for making such a mess. Just imagining the ravenette angrily brandishing a duster brings a subtle smile to his face. To Erwin, Levi resembles a pouting kitten more so than the irate man he pretends to be. Although, he would never admit as much. He knows Levi puts a lot of effort into his intimidating persona. Erwin has spent many nights wondering why the man keeps up such a cold facade despite being an official member of the Survey Corps for over a year now.

_ Maybe it’s a lack of trust _ . Erwin knows that Levi grew up in the Underground. Due to miserable, poverty-stricken living conditions, it’s every man for himself down there. Kindness was something to be taken advantage of, and blind trust could get you killed. Levi would need to be rough around the edges in order to survive. 

_ Or perhaps, Levi is afraid of allowing others to get close to him _ . After what happened on his first expedition outside the walls, Erwin can’t really blame him. The ravenette lost his only family that day, and he can sympathize with trying to avoid the pain that accompanies loss. However, Erwin knows that Levi’s heart is not an ice cold stone. Someday, he will end up caring about his fellow comrades, if he has not done so already. Those feelings will only intensify when Levi leads his own squad into battle. No matter how hard the ravenette rebels against his instincts, heartache is going to come crawling back.

Death is all around them. Losing a beloved friend is all too common.  _ Such is the life of a Survey Corps soldier.. _ . 

_ Maybe Levi acts dispassionate and tough to “compensate” for his shorter-than average stature _ . Erwin sincerely hopes he doesn’t feel self-conscious about his height. Levi’s petite, yet powerful frame is nothing short of beautiful. It’s actually one of Erwin’s favorite things about the ravenette. He’s never seen another soldier fly anywhere near as gracefully as Levi. Compared to him, Erwin very much feels like a clumsy baboon tumbling through the air. 

Not to mention, the ravenette would conform perfectly to Erwin’s larger body. Levi’s smaller back pressed up against the blonde’s oversized chest, nestled in his bear-like arms. Tension in the ravenette’s muscles slowly melting away until his breathing evens out in slumber. Expression softening until his ever-present scowl is nowhere to be found. Soft lips slightly parted that Erwin would press a tender—

Erwin abruptly shakes his head, realizing that he’s slipped into a bit of a daydream again. He really needs to stop thinking about the ravenette so much. Inattentiveness is unusual for Erwin, so it’s only a matter of time before someone notices…

_ Speaking of which, where was Levi? _

Erwin knew the ravenette didn’t enjoy being around too many people at once. The noise and “uncleanliness” that arose from the close proximity bothered him. Levi preferred to eat in solitude. However, he usually made more of an effort on special occasions. 

Despite being a loner, Erwin has managed to coax Levi into his office a few times for dinner. The blonde cleared his desk, allowing the two of them to dine across from one another. Outside diplomacy, Erwin wasn’t much of a conversationalist. Thankfully, the silence seemed to suit Levi just fine. It also gave the blonde more opportunity to sneak glances at the ravenette between bites. Even while eating, Levi was neat and methodical. 

There wasn’t much variety to Survey Corps meals, so Erwin quickly learned how Levi consumed each type of food. For baked potatoes, he liked to cut a neat slit down the center, allowing steam to escape. Once it had cooled to Levi’s satisfaction, he diced it up into perfectly cubed bite-sized pieces and ate one at a time. Rolls, he cut into even slices before chopping them into neat little squares as well. He took precisely five bites of food in between each sip of tea, cup held by the rim. 

And regardless of what he was eating, Levi always used a utensil. He never allowed his hands to touch the food, no matter how frequently and thoroughly he washed them. While even Erwin found it odd to be eating bread with a fork, he happily files away this information in his mind. The blonde enjoys learning about Levi’s little quirks, many of which only he knew about. On the rare occasion that Levi dined in the mess hall, he never once ate bread. He instead passed it along to Hange, claiming he “wasn’t that hungry.” 

Erwin knew that was nothing more than a weak excuse. 

Hange had once cracked a joke about Levi’s unusual eating habits. While Erwin is sure they meant no harm, he could tell the ravenette took it personally. There were certain foods he refused to eat in front of anyone else. The kind he had to cut up a certain way or eat in a particular order. Erwin was the only one privy to Levi’s rituals. The notion that Levi felt safe enough to eat any food in his presence warmed Erwin’s heart.

Turning his back to the inviting atmosphere, Erwin begins wandering through the Survey Corps Headquarters. The majority of the building is dark and frigid. They can’t afford to keep every room heated during the winter. Most soldiers tend to gather in the few areas that are warmer. It seems as though Levi detested being around people so much that he would rather endure the cold and maintain his seclusion. 

Erwin’s footsteps echo down the deserted stone corridor. He eventually comes to a halt just outside the ravenette’s sleeping quarters. Despite being a low-ranking soldier, Levi has his own room. He was extremely particular when it came to how things should be cleaned and arranged. The man ceaselessly got after his bunk mates for being “filthy pigs.” Needless to say, no one shared the space with him for long before requesting to be transferred. 

In Erwin’s opinion, none of Levi’s bunkmates gave him a fair chance. Truth be told, Erwin has been contemplating sharing his quarters with the man for a while now. They get along well, and the ravenette frequently tidies up his space for him. He does so without complaint, despite the blonde’s tendency to leave books and papers scattered around. However, Erwin wasn’t sure if asking Levi to move in would be too forward. The ravenette likely favors peace and quiet over his company anyway. 

No light filters through the cracks of Levi’s door. Erwin gently knocks anyway. Despite his patience, the blonde is met with silence. He tries again after a few moments. Erwin stands awkwardly in the bleak hallway, shifts his weight from one foot to the other as the seconds tick by. Considering the possibility that Levi may be sleeping, the blonde rests his hand on the knob. His fingers hesitate on the cool metal. This is a line Erwin hasn’t crossed yet. While Levi tends to barge into his office unannounced, it felt as if doing the same would encroach on the ravenette’s privacy. However, Levi shouldn’t be left completely alone on Christmas. 

Holding his breath, Erwin carefully turns the knob and eases the door open. Poking his head inside, Erwin is able to see by the soft moonlight streaming through the room’s only window. A single-sized bed is pushed into the far corner, white sheets neatly tucked in and pillow fluffed. It was clear Levi hadn’t lied down yet. A tiny wooden desk sits beneath the window, surface completely cleared of any papers. A matching chair is pushed in, not recently occupied. 

_ If Levi wasn’t in his room, then where was he? _

Erwin shuts the door to Levi’s room, then continues wandering through the rest of headquarters. Unfortunately, Levi is quite good at being elusive when he wants to be. Last Christmas, he was nowhere to be found despite Erwin’s best efforts. When confronted later, the ravenette only responded with a noncommittal shrug. Erwin suspects that Levi dislikes the holiday, but he isn’t quite sure why. 

_ Perhaps it had something to do with being raised in the Underground? Maybe he never received gifts, or felt like there was nothing worth celebrating.  _ The mere image of a youthful Levi, alone and forlorn on every child’s favorite holiday, sends Erwin’s stomach twisting in knots. It makes him want to spoil Levi rotten with presents and give him a Christmas that he would never forget.

Erwin checks every nook and cranny that doesn’t belong to another soldier. The library, the lecture hall, storage rooms, supply closets, and bathrooms. The blonde even ventures outside in the cold, trudging through snow as flurries whip around him. Levi wasn’t in the stables, on the training grounds, in the courtyard, or on the battlements.

When it becomes evident that he isn’t going to find Levi, Erwin trudges back toward his office. He momentarily thinks about joining the rest of the soldiers in their Christmas celebration, but finds he’s not in the mood. 

_ What would be the point if Levi wasn’t there to enjoy the festivities with him?  _

Erwin lets out an exhausted sigh as his shoulders slump, no longer possessing the energy to maintain a dignified posture. His eyes are fixated on the stone floor, watching as snow flakes off his boots with every step he takes. The tips of Erwin’s ears and nose are red. His fingers feel like icicles. Stray strands of blonde lay scattered across his forehead, disheveled by the wind. Snowflakes cling to his eyebrows and lashes, something that Levi would be sure to poke fun at. 

The thought brings a fleeting smile to his face. One that fades almost as quickly as it came. 

He had been looking forward to spending his evening with Levi. Perhaps relaxing in front of the fire in his office, a warm cup of tea in their hands. He pondered buying the ravenette a gift, but ultimately decided against it. The blonde didn’t want Levi to feel indebted to him. Not after all the kindness, loyalty, and support he’s shown Erwin. He settled on something simple: a quiet, peaceful night spent in one another’s company. Although, his plans are completely moot now that Levi’s vanished on him.

Erwin opens the door to his office, crossing the threshold before gently shutting it behind him. He wearily rests his forehead against the rough wood, letting out a defeated sigh. The blonde knows he shouldn’t take this personally, but he was under the impression that he and Levi were getting along well. He shouldn’t have assumed that the ravenette would want to spend Christmas with him. It’s not like there’s anything special about Erwin. He is a rather dull, boring person who only thinks of politics and expeditions. It was conceited of him to think otherwise.

Pushing off the door, Erwin approaches the adjoined bedroom. He doesn’t bother lighting a candle to ward off the darkness, instead running his fingers along the cool stone wall. Striking a match would only be a waste of their precious resources. Not that Erwin would ever admit this to anyone else, but he feels too mopey to do any sort of leisurely activity. Going to sleep and forgetting about his wounded pride is all he wants to do. 

Entering his room, Erwin steps out of his boots and shrugs off his jacket, tossing it onto a nearby chair. He makes quick work of unbuckling his belts and slipping them from his body. Most nights, he would take the time to straighten out his Maneuver Gear to ensure it doesn’t get knotted up. However, he doesn’t really have the energy to care right now. Erwin dumps the gear unceremoniously onto the floor, then works on unzipping and tugging off his pants. 

“You better not be thinking of going to sleep without detangling those belts, Smith,” a deep voice intones in the dark.

Startled, Erwin jumps and stumbles over his pant legs, slamming into the stone wall behind him.

“Gah!” Erwin exclaims, rubbing the back of his head.

“The gear is a real bitch to untangle,” the voice continues, “and I’m not going to do it for you.”

“Levi?” Erwin questions. “Is that you?”

“No. It’s your shitty fairy godmother,” Levi deadpans. “Of course it’s me, Smith! No one else can pick a lock to save their life!”

Erwin belatedly realizes that he didn’t have to unlock his office door. He was so preoccupied thinking about Levi that he hadn’t been paying attention. Although, he isn’t going to voice that tidbit for obvious reasons. If Levi isn’t disgusted with the notion altogether, he would surely berate him for being “careless.”

“Where are you?” Erwin asks instead, eyes squinting into the darkness.

“This is why I keep having to save your sorry ass on the battlefield, Smith. Your physical senses are shit! I’m in your bed.”

“Why... are you in my bed?”

“Because it’s damn cold in here, that’s why!” Levi snaps. “Are you just going to stand there with your thumbs up your ass and ask me idiotic questions? Get under the covers! It’s a lot warmer in here.”

Erwin tentatively takes a step toward the bed. 

“You better take off your shirt, Smith,” Levi warns. “You’ve been sweating in it all day, and I just changed these sheets!”

“You changed my sheets?”

“Did you really think that I would voluntarily roll around in your dead skin and clumps of hair from your receding hairline? Of course I changed the damn sheets!”

Erwin lets out a sigh, pulling off his shirt and tossing it aside. He’s surprised that Levi doesn’t make a snarky comment regarding him being a “filthy slob.” Perhaps the ravenette is worn out as well, allowing him to get away with his messy tendencies for once. Pulling back the covers, Erwin slips his body beneath them and settles in. He remains close to the edge, not wanting to invade Levi’s personal space. 

“I don’t bite you know,” Levi pipes up, voice sounding softer than it had earlier. 

“Is it alright if we… touch?”

“I wouldn’t have invited you in here if I wasn’t okay with that.”

Erwin cautiously shifts over until he is met with another form. He carefully wraps his arms around Levi, feeling his tiny, yet strong body beneath his fingertips. The ravenette presses his cheek to Erwin’s exposed chest, icy contact causing him to flinch.

“Holy shit, Blondie!” Levi breathes. “You’re like a walking furnace!”

Erwin lets out a soft chuckle, pulling the smaller man closer to his side. He allows Levi to stick toes that may as well be icicles between his calves. He cups Levi’s exposed cheek, oversized palm covering the expanse of his face. Levi hums in approval, melting further into the blonde’s embrace. Silky locks roll off of Erwin’s fingers as he caresses the ravenette’s cheekbone. 

Levi drapes an arm encased in fluffy wool around his waist. The article of clothing seems much too big for the smaller man, remainder of the sleeve hanging limply against Erwin’s back. He frowns slightly in confusion.

“Is that my sweater?” Erwin whispers.

“I was freezing my ass off because you were taking your sweet time socializing!” Levi exclaims, sounding a bit disgruntled. “And your shirts are conveniently blanket-sized.”

“Were you… waiting for me?”

“No, I was waiting for Hange. In your bed. Wearing your clothes,” Levi deadpans.

“Well when you put it that way, I certainly do sound like a fool,” Erwin admits, a playful lilt to his voice.

“That’s what I’m always telling you, Blondie.”

Erwin can feel the corner of Levi’s lips twitch slightly upwards. He wishes he could see the ravenette’s expression right now and burn it into his mind. He hasn’t had the privilege of seeing Levi smile before. Erwin is certain that it would take his breath away.

“I apologize for the late hour. I was actually looking for you,” Erwin admits.

“...And it took you this long to check your own quarters?”

“How was I to know that you would be snuggled up underneath the blankets of my bed?!”

“First of all, I don’t  _ snuggle— _ ” 

“Oh? Then what are we doing right now?”

“Clearly not snuggling, dumbass! We are just sharing body heat out of necessity to prevent your best soldier from developing frostbite. Tsk, I thought commanders were supposed to be smart.”

“Hey, I searched every place imaginable inside the base and even trekked outside to the training grounds and stables.”

“Tch,” Levi scoffs. “You don’t know me at all! Who would voluntarily freeze their balls off anyway?”

“I wish I did,” Erwin murmurs.

“Freeze your balls off?”

“N-no!” Erwin sputters. “I wish I knew you!”

Levi is stunned into silence.

“I wish I knew your favorite blend of tea and how to prepare it,” Erwin continues. “I wish I knew what you dream of doing once the war ends. I wish I could recognize when you don’t want to be touched and when you crave it. I wish I knew what keeps you up so late at night. I wish I could chase away your nightmares and the things that haunt you.”

The ravenette hasn’t so much as exhaled from the moment Erwin began laying his desires bare. He worries that he’s revealed too much. That he’s caused Levi discomfort. Or maybe, the ravenette is feeling pressured to spill secrets he doesn’t want to share. 

_ What if Levi starts avoiding him for days on end because he failed to keep his damn fantasies to himself? _

Erwin would miss Levi dearly, and there’s nothing he could do to remedy the situation. He refuses to imprison this wonderful man more so than he already has. Erwin opens his mouth to apologize just as the ravenette speaks up. 

“My favorite blend is black tea with lavender. If this damned war ever comes to an end, I want to open up a small tea shop and create my own infusions. I wish to learn which herbs and spices compliment one another and those that don’t. 

“Your touch will never be unwelcome. I always crave your warmth and tenderness because it’s something I  _ need _ . Don’t be scared of approaching me, for I will forever receive your kindness with open arms. 

“It is the lives I failed to save that haunt me the most. I blame myself for not being strong or quick enough to protect every soldier that rides into battle. After Isabel and Farlan…” Levi trails off, throat tightening.

Erwin waits patiently for the ravenette to continue, running his fingers through Levi’s hair in a soothing manner.

“I fear getting close to others. I’m hostile toward everyone so that no one even  _ wants _ to get to know me. What happened back then… It almost broke me. I don’t have the strength to know the person behind each corpse. Unfortunately, there’s this cunning blonde bastard with ridiculous eyebrows that has slipped through my defenses. For whatever reason, he seems to enjoy my shitty personality. The man clearly has several screws loose, or else he would sensibly avoid me just like every other soldier.”

Erwin laughs out loud at that, one that rumbles deep in his chest. The ravenette can feel every vibration, causing him to let out a near-silent giggle of his own. Once the blonde settles down again, Levi continues.

“Erwin, you already scare off my bad dreams. You invite me into your office no matter the hour, offering your quiet company and solace. Despite the weight of command, you’re always so warm, kind, and generous. It is your presence that gives me refuge from the ghosts of my past when nothing else will.”

Erwin is rendered speechless. Levi is a man of few words, so he certainly didn’t expect him to be so open and vulnerable. He can’t recall a time in which the ravenette spoke more than a few short sentences at once, let alone about himself. Although he didn’t think it possible, Erwin’s affection for this man deepens. Warmth floods his chest, subtly reminding him just how precious Levi is.

“Levi, I—” Erwin breathes. “Thank you.”

The two drift into companionable silence, taking pleasure in their shared warmth. Any tension or concern from the day slowly drains from their bodies. Levi is curled perfectly against Erwin’s side, as if he were made to fit there. His presence alone gives Erwin a much needed respite from the hell they face daily. He is finally free to ponder things not pertaining to war. 

Erwin’s mind first wanders to the mysterious cup of tea that frequently appears on his desk. The amber liquid is always freshly prepared, steam rising from a polished teacup. While he has yet to catch Levi in the act, the brew’s taste could point to only one man. Erwin could almost taste the exact blend, just by thinking about it.

He reflects on Levi’s unique way of conveying his thoughts. While the ravenette comes off as discourteous and aloof, it didn’t take long for Erwin to realize his words shouldn’t be taken at face-value. What the ravenette says often holds more meaning than he lets on. 

Erwin believes that risks are necessary in order to make significant advances against the Titans. Some soldiers disagree, outright questioning his tactics. Even if Levi doesn’t understand Erwin’s plan, he is always quick to accept orders with a simple “I’ll trust your judgement.” Those few words hold more weight than most would realize, as the ravenette’s trust is not easily earned. As far as Erwin knows, he’s the only one Levi implicitly has faith in. The blonde greatly appreciates the man’s fierce loyalty. It lends him strength, especially during the times that he doubts his own leadership.

As Commander of the Survey Corps, many are the nights where Erwin remains hunched over paperwork. His eyebags are dark and prominent against candlelight that burns low. Strands of blonde stick up in all directions from fingers tugging at it in distress. His shoulders and hands ache from remaining in one position for too long. It’s times like these that Levi enjoys barging in to announce that he “looks like shit.” The sentiment always makes Erwin laugh, as he knows the ravenette is undoubtedly right. He’s also aware that Levi means to say “you’re overworking again, and I’m worried you’re not taking care of yourself.”

Then of course, there was the matter of Erwin’s most recent birthday. He was alone, exhausted, drunk, and feeling like absolute shit. Levi showed up unannounced, offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. 

Which reminds Erwin, _ when was Levi’s birthday? _

He’s been meaning to ask the ravenette for some time now, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. If Levi felt Erwin was prying, he may clam up or withdraw from him altogether. While the blonde is ashamed of this, he did try to dig up the information, but to no avail. Erwin’s nervous about ruining the moment, but he also wants to be there for Levi in the same way he is for him.

“Levi?” Erwin whispers tentatively.

“Hmm?” Levi sleepily hums.

“When were you… born? I hope you don’t feel like I’ve invaded your privacy, but I must admit that I searched through your records,” Erwin confesses. “Each paper had a different date, so I asked Hange. Unfortunately, the information they provided matched nothing. Since you already found out about my birthday, I was hoping to have the privilege of knowing yours?”

Erwin is met with a long stretch of silence. His heart begins to sink as it dawns on him that he shouldn’t have brought this up at all. The blonde mentally berates himself for snooping through Levi's personal information when he knows just how reserved the man is. Erwin holds his breath, waiting for Levi to voice his displeasure and kick him onto the floor or something. 

“I don’t know when I was born,” Levi speaks quietly into the dark. “My mother died when I was very young.“

_ Fantastic. Now he’s opening up old wounds. Way to go, Commander Asshole. _

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—” Erwin starts.

“You’re right, you didn’t know,” Levi agrees. “So there’s no point in apologizing for something that isn’t even your fault. Besides, I planned on telling you someday. It’s just not something that naturally comes up in conversation.”

They fall back into quietness, Erwin not quite knowing how to console the man. He ends up sliding his fingers back into Levi’s hair, cradling the base of his skull. Downy locks slip across his knuckles as he gently strokes the ravenette’s undercut.

“You deserve nothing but the best, Levi,” Erwin murmurs.

“Tch,” Levi scoffs. “You’re such an old sap.”

“Maybe so,” Erwin agrees, “but I don’t think I’m wrong.” 

“We’ve already established that you’ve lost your marbles, so how does that prove anything?”

"Do we need to verify the sun rises each morning?"

"You're dodging the question."

"No, I'm proving my point."

"I'm starting to think you never had one to begin with."

Erwin releases an exasperated sigh. "What am I ever going to do with you?"

"Oh, you love it."

"I suppose you're not wrong," Erwin relents, mouth twitching upwards fondly. The blonde pauses for a moment to lick his lips. He takes a deep breath before voicing his proposal. "How about we make today your birthday?"

“On Christmas?” Levi asks incredulously.

Erwin can just imagine the grimace on Levi’s face right now. He’s forced to bite his tongue to hold back another round of laughter.

“It’s the season of giving,” Erwin manages to continue. “Is there a day more fitting for the man who only gives and gives?”

Levi snorts. “I do nothing of the sort."

“Oh? Do you not remember the late-night visit you paid me on the 14th of October?”

“I got you drunk and dumped your sorry ass in bed. Nothing more.”

“Hmm,” Erwin hums. “I seem to have a different recollection of that night.” 

“Blondie, do you really believe your senile, alcohol-ridden brain is all that trustworthy? Because I most certainly gave you nothing.”

“Well, there was one particular statement you made that lifted a tremendous burden from my heart.”

“I don’t know what you’re blabbering about.”

“You said ‘I gave you your wings,’ didn’t you?”

“You remember that?!” Levi exclaims, voice tinged with panic. “Holy shit, Blondie!”

Erwin chuckles at Levi’s reaction. “I’m not quite as decrepit as you seem to think I am.” 

Levi buries his face into the blonde’s chest and lets out a muffled scream. Erwin’s grin is so broad that his cheeks are beginning to hurt.

“I can hear you smirking, asshole!” Levi growls. “If you so much as _ think _ about breathing a word about this, I will break both of your damn legs. I will not allow you to ruin my image!”

Erwin can’t hold back any longer, a loud bark of laughter erupting from his lips. His chest and shoulders shake with mirth as Levi lets out a string of colorful curses. He can feel the ravenette’s cheeks searing against his bare skin. It makes him realize that they’re both witnessing a new side of each other, one that no one else has seen before. The notion makes Erwin elated and nervous all at once. 

Eventually, the blonde manages to catch his breath and settle down. Levi has fallen still beside him despite his irritation remaining palpable. Erwin knows Levi isn’t truly mad at him. He allows the blonde to tease him every once in a while, snarking back in a light-hearted manner. He notices that they’ve gotten off on somewhat of a tangent. Erwin has yet to express how the ravenette makes him feel. 

“Levi...” Erwin trails off.

Despite being quite eloquent in speech, Erwin finds his words failing him.  _ How could he best encompass the entirety of his feelings? They were indescribable. He’s never felt this way about anyone before. _

Erwin always believed himself to place the future of humanity above all else. Or if he’s being entirely honest, proving his father right and ensuring his death wasn’t in vain. But now…

_ Could he really sacrifice Levi if the circumstances were dire enough? What if losing Levi meant the salvation of mankind? Would he be able to live with himself after a decision like that?  _

Erwin would lay flowers on Levi’s grave for the remainder of his days. He may as well dig Levi’s final resting place himself, for only he could be to blame. Although, it is more likely that the grave would be empty. Returning with the body of a fallen soldier was often a luxury they couldn’t afford. Levi deserves to live a long, peaceful life after the war. Laid to rest near his home after growing old and passing peacefully in the night. Erwin shouldn’t force him to become one with the grass and flowers before his time. 

The blonde snaps out of his musings as icy fingers are pressed against his cheek. He glances down. Now that his eyes have adjusted, he can see Levi’s silver irises gleaming beneath dark lashes. Silky strands of onyx fall across his forehead. Stray wisps stand up on end, untamed and wild, yet endearing all the same. Levi’s delicate eyebrows are pinched together slightly, thin lips pulled a bit tighter than usual.

“You’re crying,” Levi whispers, rubbing his thumb just beneath Erwin’s eye. 

Sure enough, Erwin can feel a trail of wetness slipping down his cheeks. Just the thought of losing Levi brings him to his knees. This man had become so infinitely precious to him after only knowing him for a short while. The ravenette gives Erwin the strength to rise each morning and face another brutal day. Levi may as well be his most vital organs. 

_ For without the man, how could his lungs continue to breathe while being crushed by the weight of command? How could his heart still beat after losing the one thing it was fighting for most? How could his eyes continue to see when they’ll be clouded by tears, and his only hope has faded to darkness? _

Erwin wordlessly leans forward, gently pressing his forehead to Levi’s. Even if Levi doesn’t realize it yet, the blonde holds his greatest treasure in his hands. He knows that moments like these will be far and few between, so he will cherish every one of them. Erwin intends to burn every feeling and sensation into his mind. So that he may never take for granted the priceless man before him. 

“If I gave you your wings, then you gave me my soul,” Erwin murmurs.

Levi closes the gap in an instant, capturing Erwin’s lips with his own. The blonde is briefly stunned by the ravenette’s fervent reaction, but soon responds in kind. Erwin moves his mouth slowly against Levi’s, savoring the taste of the smaller man. He sucks at the chapped skin of Levi’s lower lip, eliciting a gentle moan from the ravenette. 

Their exchange soon grows more passionate, if not a little desperate. With each breath they take, the longing and affection they’ve had for one another becomes increasingly obvious. 

Levi slides his tongue against Erwin’s, drawing a gasp from the blonde’s lips. His nails rake across the larger man’s exposed back, sending shivers down his spine. Erwin rubs his palm against Levi’s undercut, tugging at the longer strands knotted around his fingers. Their limbs get tangled in the sheets, bodies bound together by the heat of their passion.

They reluctantly part, both panting and slightly disoriented from the eagerness of their exchange. Erwin gazes into pupils so dilated that he can barely see any silver, only an endless sea of black. Not a single inky strand rests where it should, yet he wouldn’t have the ravenette’s hair any other way. Erwin’s heart is overflowing with warmth and affection, reaffirming that his whole world lays right in front of him.

In that moment, Erwin makes himself a promise. He will do everything in his power to protect Levi, even if he must charge into battle and lay down his own life.

“Happy birthday, my dear Levi,” Erwin murmurs tenderly.

The ravenette remains silent, but his traitorous lips briefly twitch upward. While the expression may have resembled more of a grimace, Erwin discovers that he was right. Levi’s smile most certainly took his breath away. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, my lovely Levi. May you find peace and happiness in the end. ♡


End file.
